Authenticity - what does that mean to you?
For me it is a something I strive to be in all areas of my life. I realise with the wonderful vision of age, experience and hindsight that I have not always presented my authentic self to the world, but also that the times that I have not been authentic it was more about me than others. There was a time, in fact many times, on this little journey called life that I have been unsure of who I am and afraid of stepping up and saying "hey world, this is me!" But step by step, lesson by lesson, I have become more comfortable with the 'real me' and more ok about letting her shine through regardless of what others may think. I recognise and respect authenticity in those around me, I understand and love that we are all different, we each have our own challenges, our own 'right' ways of doing things and interacting with other. What I don't understand though is when people are so far from their authentic selves that they are deceitful not only to those around them but also to themselves.
But I guess as with all things in life, its not always easy to be at ease with yourself - especially around others! There are so many circumstances in our day to day lives that we are required to wear different hats, or perhaps different masks just to get through our day but I think that all of those parts are parts of us and that if our intention is pure then we are doing our best to be our authentic selves. I'm not sure if this is a simple truth that it has just taken me years to realise or if it is something deep and profound that more of us need to realise and accept that we are never just one person, just one 'us', that we are always evolving, that sometimes we need to be chameleons and adapt to the circumstances or people that are around us, but that even within all of the chaos and carnage that is our interactions with so many others in a day, that there is always room to be you....
Monday 28 May 2012
Sunday 20 May 2012
Its All About The View
Oh Sunday, tired Sunday.......
Do you ever have a weekend that feels like you didn't have a weekend?! I was sitting back this evening feeling a little ripped off that my weekend didn't go the way that I would have liked it to, my ego whining that I didn't have time to do exactly what I hoped to do this weekend when I realised that what I did do was just fine, in fact for a few dear ones around me it was pretty great and that all I needed to do was change the way I was looking at it, look at it from a different point of view.....
Personally I look forward to weekends as a time, at least a little time, to either sleep in, chill out, or at least spend time doing something that makes me feel relaxed and like I have given back to myself. This weekend has not been one of those times!!
As I look back over my weekend and consider all that I have achieved I start to realise that just because there hasn't been a lot of 'down' time, it does not mean that I have not had a good weekend hmmmm revelation or hallucination?!
I had plans for this weekend, great plans of a nice quiet time - bit of cleaning, bit of washing, a bit of baking with my daughter (Miss 12 and 1/2), sounds nice and peaceful enough rght? Those few, little things plus a little grocery shopping ate up the entire day and then with hubby out working late I was thrust into cooking dinner and all clearing before finally jumping into bed with the kids to watch some kidworthy 'family' dvd (a favourite pastime of my kids, sounds lovely but in reality there is much squirming, fighting about who is next to who and who has the most lollies or dessert or time next to mum or dad etc etc).
PHEW! With the chaos that was Saturday in the background I looked forward to finding some solace in Sunday - AFTER I visit my 90 year old grandmother (she is just home after a stay in respite to appease my mother while they travel overseas), get the kids to rake the leaves in her yard, take her some of yesterdays baked goods (nowhere near as good as when she makes them mind you), have a cuppa with her then pop home to get the kids some lunch, pop out for lunch with a friend since I have just found a voucher for a lunch that is about to run out, THEN pop out to Costco for another little bit of grocery shopping, get the shopping home , still hopeing for some time to chill. Oh now its time to get the kids some dinner (want them in bed early tonight), clean that up, ooh better do that ironing so I have a good choice of clothes for work this week, ok get kids into bed (later than I hoped but off they go) ok NOW I have some time I might just sit down and watch a little tv ahhh OH NO! Hubby bowls in the door, long day at work, jibbering and freaking out that his isn't working can I have a look at it (hubby is NOT one for the modern electronics - he can't even txt!) as he has dropped it in some water!! Ok, dutiful wife to the rescue - take the phone apart hit it with the hair dryer while heart racing, anxiety raising and mumbling to self about how I JUST sat down, haven't stopped all weekend JUST wanted 5 mins grumble, grumble, grumble.......
I know! I'll write my blogg now! Hmmm ponder, ponder, what do I want to share today? Ripped off, no weekend, did this for this person, that for that person, pleased my kids, pleased my Little Nan, shared time with friends.....hmmm HANG ON, isn't that actually a GREAT WEEKEND??!!! How does that song go - "You can't always get what you want, but you get what you need"..............
Do you ever have a weekend that feels like you didn't have a weekend?! I was sitting back this evening feeling a little ripped off that my weekend didn't go the way that I would have liked it to, my ego whining that I didn't have time to do exactly what I hoped to do this weekend when I realised that what I did do was just fine, in fact for a few dear ones around me it was pretty great and that all I needed to do was change the way I was looking at it, look at it from a different point of view.....
Personally I look forward to weekends as a time, at least a little time, to either sleep in, chill out, or at least spend time doing something that makes me feel relaxed and like I have given back to myself. This weekend has not been one of those times!!
As I look back over my weekend and consider all that I have achieved I start to realise that just because there hasn't been a lot of 'down' time, it does not mean that I have not had a good weekend hmmmm revelation or hallucination?!
I had plans for this weekend, great plans of a nice quiet time - bit of cleaning, bit of washing, a bit of baking with my daughter (Miss 12 and 1/2), sounds nice and peaceful enough rght? Those few, little things plus a little grocery shopping ate up the entire day and then with hubby out working late I was thrust into cooking dinner and all clearing before finally jumping into bed with the kids to watch some kidworthy 'family' dvd (a favourite pastime of my kids, sounds lovely but in reality there is much squirming, fighting about who is next to who and who has the most lollies or dessert or time next to mum or dad etc etc).
PHEW! With the chaos that was Saturday in the background I looked forward to finding some solace in Sunday - AFTER I visit my 90 year old grandmother (she is just home after a stay in respite to appease my mother while they travel overseas), get the kids to rake the leaves in her yard, take her some of yesterdays baked goods (nowhere near as good as when she makes them mind you), have a cuppa with her then pop home to get the kids some lunch, pop out for lunch with a friend since I have just found a voucher for a lunch that is about to run out, THEN pop out to Costco for another little bit of grocery shopping, get the shopping home , still hopeing for some time to chill. Oh now its time to get the kids some dinner (want them in bed early tonight), clean that up, ooh better do that ironing so I have a good choice of clothes for work this week, ok get kids into bed (later than I hoped but off they go) ok NOW I have some time I might just sit down and watch a little tv ahhh OH NO! Hubby bowls in the door, long day at work, jibbering and freaking out that his isn't working can I have a look at it (hubby is NOT one for the modern electronics - he can't even txt!) as he has dropped it in some water!! Ok, dutiful wife to the rescue - take the phone apart hit it with the hair dryer while heart racing, anxiety raising and mumbling to self about how I JUST sat down, haven't stopped all weekend JUST wanted 5 mins grumble, grumble, grumble.......
I know! I'll write my blogg now! Hmmm ponder, ponder, what do I want to share today? Ripped off, no weekend, did this for this person, that for that person, pleased my kids, pleased my Little Nan, shared time with friends.....hmmm HANG ON, isn't that actually a GREAT WEEKEND??!!! How does that song go - "You can't always get what you want, but you get what you need"..............
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