Have you ever looked back at a choice you have made in your life and realised that although things didn't turn out the way you had hoped, or perhaps it was even a total disaster, BUT did you learn something from the experience and can you now look back and see that it helped you grow?
It has started to become very clear to me in my life that there are many different ways that growth lessons will show up and they are almost always unexpected! I'm not sure if it is my age, the amount of time I have spent on this journey this time around, or just the amount of growth and evolution I have gone through so far, but I am starting to realise that there is always more than one choice and thinking that there isn't is just my ego or stubborness trying to win and keep me where I am.
I am the first to admit that I can be quite an impulsive person, that I make choices by feel and a sense that I must take a certain path with a trust that what I am doing is leading me exactly where I would like to be headed. I am also the first to admit that this has not always been the case and I have found myself along the way both disillusioned and down trodden wondering what went wrong when I was so sure about the path I had chosen. What I have also found is that once my bruised ego settles and the fog in my mind starts to clear, I realise that I made exactly the right choice for the lesson I needed to learn to achieve the growth that could only come about through the path that I had chosen.
Life is always so clear in hindsight and the lessons seem so easy that I sometimes wonder why it was so hard to get to this place, why I took the winding road, with the rough track and many obstacles to overcome instead of taking the nice smooth simple path. Then I remember - it was ME that made the choice......
Thursday 26 July 2012
Sunday 15 July 2012
How Much Are You Worth - and how do you know?
Self worth.....it's a term that everyone knows, it is often talked about but what I want to know is how do you measure your self worth?!
I certainly get the concept of NOT valuing myself enough, I also recognise now that there have been a lot of times that I have valued others more highly than myself and allowed people to treat me in ways that I feel undervalued but have accepted the treatment as if that is simply my lot in life. Or perhaps it was more that I didn't consciously realise that I going along, thinking that I was setting an example of how I would like to be treated, when in reality what I was really doing was putting anyone and everyone around me's wants and needs before any of my own then feeling upset and resentful when people turned up to keep taking and taking because I had taught them that I would just keep on giving.
STOP THE RIDE I WANT TO GET OFF!!!!!
Ok so light bulb moment, this is not how I want to be operating in the world, I am devaluing myself and placing pretty much anyone else that comes into my life above myself. Right, realisation confirmed, um what now?? How do I go about raising my own value, my self-worth to at the very least the level that I hold everyone else in?
How is self-worth measured? Is it a matter of being able to say 'no' when you need to? Is it reminding myself to not give quite so much of 'me' away to everyone that comes into my life? Or is it about simply starting to ask myself 'does this make me feel worthy?'
As I look back over my past I see times that I have tried to assert my worth to others by perhaps almost demanding that things be different, almost like a silent scream that says 'Can't you see me?! I'm right here and I need to be acknowledged too' but it is the squeaky wheel that gets the oil, not the silent one. But in what ways do I 'say' I am worthy without appearing to be having a tantrum or acting in a way that is completely unlike myself?
As I sit quietly with that question I am reminded that someone 'out there' in the universe has a great sense of humour because the answer that comes through, very clearly, into my mind is 'It's just like asking how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time'.......
I certainly get the concept of NOT valuing myself enough, I also recognise now that there have been a lot of times that I have valued others more highly than myself and allowed people to treat me in ways that I feel undervalued but have accepted the treatment as if that is simply my lot in life. Or perhaps it was more that I didn't consciously realise that I going along, thinking that I was setting an example of how I would like to be treated, when in reality what I was really doing was putting anyone and everyone around me's wants and needs before any of my own then feeling upset and resentful when people turned up to keep taking and taking because I had taught them that I would just keep on giving.
STOP THE RIDE I WANT TO GET OFF!!!!!
Ok so light bulb moment, this is not how I want to be operating in the world, I am devaluing myself and placing pretty much anyone else that comes into my life above myself. Right, realisation confirmed, um what now?? How do I go about raising my own value, my self-worth to at the very least the level that I hold everyone else in?
How is self-worth measured? Is it a matter of being able to say 'no' when you need to? Is it reminding myself to not give quite so much of 'me' away to everyone that comes into my life? Or is it about simply starting to ask myself 'does this make me feel worthy?'
As I look back over my past I see times that I have tried to assert my worth to others by perhaps almost demanding that things be different, almost like a silent scream that says 'Can't you see me?! I'm right here and I need to be acknowledged too' but it is the squeaky wheel that gets the oil, not the silent one. But in what ways do I 'say' I am worthy without appearing to be having a tantrum or acting in a way that is completely unlike myself?
As I sit quietly with that question I am reminded that someone 'out there' in the universe has a great sense of humour because the answer that comes through, very clearly, into my mind is 'It's just like asking how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time'.......
Sunday 8 July 2012
How Do You Measure Success?
Success...What does it mean to you? Does it hold meaning for you or is it something that other people worry too much about?
I have recently started reading a book by a fabulous and insightful man called Robert Holden who is a 'Happiness Coach' called 'Authentic Success' and although I am only in the first chapter, I have already started to look at my own success with new eyes. Robert Holden says that success is a journey, not a destination - yes I know that we have all heard that term before BUT I have never heard it used about success.
Even the very few pages that I have read so far have me questioning my own drive to success, what I consider success in myself and what I would consider success in others. Once again I see that while I hold impossibly high, never ending standards for myself, I would happily and wholeheartedly celebrate ANYTHING that someone else considers as success. Does this mean I am failing at my own success???
I am hopeful that through the wisdom, the path walked and the lessons learned before me, that Robert Holden may lead me to find the answer of what I would consider my own success. I do think that perhaps I would break down success in my own life into 2 different categories - personal success and professional success and while I'm not sure that I would think one was enough without the other and while I realise that I am always striving towards success in both areas, I wonder if I would be satisfied with reaching a certain level or measure of success for one or the other. (who am I kidding, even as I type that I hear in my mind 'AS IF!!!!
Hmmm I think that while I have 'succeeded' in achieving pretty much most things I have set my mind to in my life, if I am truly, brutally honest I do not consider myself 'successful' and I wonder why??
The only answer that I can come up with is that I don't actually know what 'success' looks like to me or perhaps how it is that I measure my own success. I know that for me personal success would mean finally being able to accept myself, certainly physically, exactly as I am at any time and yet with all that I know and as hard as I strive I still can't say what it would take to find that acceptance.
And what about in the professional arena?? What does success look like for me there? I know that there have been times in my life that I have 'checked the boxes' only to find that once I had reached the goals I had set myself, as selfish as I felt, it did not seem enough.
I think for now I will go back to my book, learn what I can from the kinship that I feel with Robert Holden as for me he speaks many truths and switches on many light bulb moments and for now perhaps I will try and view success from a different perspective and decide that just the fact that I am here, writing a blog, sharing with anyone who cares to read it, working towards my never ending goals. At the very least I am doing these things and wherever they may lead, I should consider the fact that I even got started is some sort of success within itself..........
I have recently started reading a book by a fabulous and insightful man called Robert Holden who is a 'Happiness Coach' called 'Authentic Success' and although I am only in the first chapter, I have already started to look at my own success with new eyes. Robert Holden says that success is a journey, not a destination - yes I know that we have all heard that term before BUT I have never heard it used about success.
Even the very few pages that I have read so far have me questioning my own drive to success, what I consider success in myself and what I would consider success in others. Once again I see that while I hold impossibly high, never ending standards for myself, I would happily and wholeheartedly celebrate ANYTHING that someone else considers as success. Does this mean I am failing at my own success???
I am hopeful that through the wisdom, the path walked and the lessons learned before me, that Robert Holden may lead me to find the answer of what I would consider my own success. I do think that perhaps I would break down success in my own life into 2 different categories - personal success and professional success and while I'm not sure that I would think one was enough without the other and while I realise that I am always striving towards success in both areas, I wonder if I would be satisfied with reaching a certain level or measure of success for one or the other. (who am I kidding, even as I type that I hear in my mind 'AS IF!!!!
Hmmm I think that while I have 'succeeded' in achieving pretty much most things I have set my mind to in my life, if I am truly, brutally honest I do not consider myself 'successful' and I wonder why??
The only answer that I can come up with is that I don't actually know what 'success' looks like to me or perhaps how it is that I measure my own success. I know that for me personal success would mean finally being able to accept myself, certainly physically, exactly as I am at any time and yet with all that I know and as hard as I strive I still can't say what it would take to find that acceptance.
And what about in the professional arena?? What does success look like for me there? I know that there have been times in my life that I have 'checked the boxes' only to find that once I had reached the goals I had set myself, as selfish as I felt, it did not seem enough.
I think for now I will go back to my book, learn what I can from the kinship that I feel with Robert Holden as for me he speaks many truths and switches on many light bulb moments and for now perhaps I will try and view success from a different perspective and decide that just the fact that I am here, writing a blog, sharing with anyone who cares to read it, working towards my never ending goals. At the very least I am doing these things and wherever they may lead, I should consider the fact that I even got started is some sort of success within itself..........
Sunday 1 July 2012
Following Synchronicity
Do you believe in synchronicity? I certaintly do...
For me synchronicity means following the 'signs' as I see them coming up in my life. Those moments that you think 'wow that was a weird coincidence' well weird or not is there a message there for you that you may or may not be seeing or hearing...
I can't really remember how long I have conciously been living my life this way, and I have to say that there are certainly times that I don't follow the signs or I am afraid to take the path that I am shown or even that my big human ego just gets in the way and causes me to hesitate. But most of the time and in most areas of my life, I try to follow the leads that I feel I am shown and when I trust in that process and walk the path of my heart I have never been disappointed yet.
What I do remember about conciously starting to live this way is questioning if what I think are 'signs' really are, or whether perhaps I am making it so or, worst of all, I was just going a little crazy and no one had picked up on it yet!! I can't say that any of those things have been proven or not but what I do know is that the more I trusted in what I felt were my signs and followed up on what I felt I should do, the more clear my path has become and the more synchronistic moments appear in my life.
As lovely as I think I may be making it all sound, it has certainly not always been easy - there have been times in the past few years that I have been so sure of what I am doing only to get to a point that I found myself lost and disillusioned, feeling as though I had been shown the way to my own utopia, my dreams realised, my path to success only to have it all stall and stagger and make me question what is real and what is my own illusion or perhaps de-lusion.....
But wait!! Not all is doom and gloom and as most people know, with the 20/20 vision of hindsight I am able to sit back, sigh, and know that yes, I was doing EXACTLY what I was meant to be doing at that time and that my guidance radar was not broken or wrong as I thought it might be at the time.
What I realise now is that I had lessons to learn, a journey of discovery to undertake, and that as much as I would like to control EVERYTHING along the way, apparently that is not the case and part of my main lesson this time around is to just keep on following those synchronistic moments, taking the steps and stages as they come so that I can keep standing here in THIS moment, able to look back and see that my life and my journey are leading me to the places I see in my dreams but the paths that I must take will be unfolded and illuminated as they need to be and really, my only job (the one I find the hardest of all) is to follow the signs and trust the process....
For me synchronicity means following the 'signs' as I see them coming up in my life. Those moments that you think 'wow that was a weird coincidence' well weird or not is there a message there for you that you may or may not be seeing or hearing...
I can't really remember how long I have conciously been living my life this way, and I have to say that there are certainly times that I don't follow the signs or I am afraid to take the path that I am shown or even that my big human ego just gets in the way and causes me to hesitate. But most of the time and in most areas of my life, I try to follow the leads that I feel I am shown and when I trust in that process and walk the path of my heart I have never been disappointed yet.
What I do remember about conciously starting to live this way is questioning if what I think are 'signs' really are, or whether perhaps I am making it so or, worst of all, I was just going a little crazy and no one had picked up on it yet!! I can't say that any of those things have been proven or not but what I do know is that the more I trusted in what I felt were my signs and followed up on what I felt I should do, the more clear my path has become and the more synchronistic moments appear in my life.
As lovely as I think I may be making it all sound, it has certainly not always been easy - there have been times in the past few years that I have been so sure of what I am doing only to get to a point that I found myself lost and disillusioned, feeling as though I had been shown the way to my own utopia, my dreams realised, my path to success only to have it all stall and stagger and make me question what is real and what is my own illusion or perhaps de-lusion.....
But wait!! Not all is doom and gloom and as most people know, with the 20/20 vision of hindsight I am able to sit back, sigh, and know that yes, I was doing EXACTLY what I was meant to be doing at that time and that my guidance radar was not broken or wrong as I thought it might be at the time.
What I realise now is that I had lessons to learn, a journey of discovery to undertake, and that as much as I would like to control EVERYTHING along the way, apparently that is not the case and part of my main lesson this time around is to just keep on following those synchronistic moments, taking the steps and stages as they come so that I can keep standing here in THIS moment, able to look back and see that my life and my journey are leading me to the places I see in my dreams but the paths that I must take will be unfolded and illuminated as they need to be and really, my only job (the one I find the hardest of all) is to follow the signs and trust the process....
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