What Do You Value The Most?

Where do your personal values lie? Do you know or is it one of those things that you know you have but haven't ever really needed to articulate?

In my current job I run adult education programs and with the current course one of the classes is called "Ethical work practises" and as I write the classes I decided that it would be good idea to include a 'personal values' exercise. Of course me being, well, ME (as if I'd be anyone else!) I started to think about personal values V's workplace ethics and yet again the ding could be heard of a light bulb switching on in my head and I realised that if your personal values clash with the ethics of your workplace then you will either not be able to stay at that workplace or you will have serious inner conflict but may absolutely not know why! Hmmmmm interesting isn't it?!

(Or maybe it isn't as everyone realises this but me so sorry if this is not as new of a concept to you as it is to me)

So THEN my busy little mind starts to form all sorts of connections into the rest of my life like for instance - is this what happens in friendships and indeed any sort of relationship that you seem to like each other at first, get on well and have similar interests but as time goes on with some people you (or I in this particular scenario) will feel frustrated, disrespected, used or just not on an even keel with someone that on some levels you have a lot of time for or like or even love, but yet there seems to be some sort of misfiring of connection in which you (or I) just cannot understand why something that seems obvious and simple can be so evasive to someone elses radar. I feel now is the time to insert example HERE: I will do almost anything for my friends and those that I love, usually without being asked, I feel it is almost my duty as a potentially 'good' human being and someone who appreciates their friends to be a 'good' friend means stepping up to the plate, offering my time, giving a shoulder to lean or cry on, picking up or looking after friends children, giving them a lift if we are going to the same place, just dropping a line to say hi if we haven't been in touch for a while, if I make plans I stick to them and above all else try to not let people down...all of these things to me are not a big ask, not a lot of energy but just something that you do as someone who wants to be a good friend. HOWEVER there have been times (many times) in my life when these acts have gone seemingly unnoticed, unappreciated and definitely unrequited and I have been left wondering WHY?! UNTIL NOW!!!! When I realise that all of those things are MY personal values on friendship and what I  consider important traits and points and while there are definitely other wonderful souls in my life that act in the same way, there are a number who just don't and I now realise that whatever their personal values are on what constitutes a good friend, they are slightly (or a lot) askew to mine. (PHEW it took a while but I got to the point eventually!) So where does this leave me?! I have decided that it is ok to give myself permission to either pull back from friends that have either clashing or at least rubbing values to mine, that if it makes me this crazy but they can't help it then I need to make a choice to either back off, walk away, or accept them for who they are and what they bring. Also there is the option of keeping contact to where there is common ground to relieve frustration and torment (on my behalf as a particularly over sensitive soul as it doesn't seem to bother the other person!). So in closing I have found that my strongest values lie (or lay I'm not sure of the grammar) in integrity, authenticity and compassion with an attitude of 'what can I do to help' thrown in! Do you know where your values lie?



100 Days of Gratitude

Gratitude....................

I decided a couple of weeks ago to embark on 100 days of gratitude and post it to my face book status every day. I chose this forum not so that others could see it, but simply to keep me accountable as someone may notice if I missed a day and I really wanted to swing the balance in favour of a positive focus in my life.
So far it has been an interesting journey, sitting at the end of my day and considering what I am grateful for. Although I guess there are many things that I am grateful for, I have taken to just sitting and seeing what the first thing is that pops into my mind. As a generally positive person I have found it not too much of a challenge but as a human being ( or a spiritual being having a human experience says the 'hippy chic' in my head!!) there are days that I have struggled to grab hold of some gratitude. These are the days when something unexpected has just jumped up and bitten me in life, we all have those but this exercise has made me more aware of how much influence a moment can have and how long it can last. On those days I have been tempted to simply put 'today I am grateful that the day is over!' but then I stop and ask 'am I ? Is that it?!' And I have honestly found that once I release that moment and dig a little deeper, there has been a lesson for me lurking in the muck and once I acknowledge the lesson then the heaviness seems to lighten and the feeling that everything is crap seems to clear a little more quickly. And so I wonder if this is the next big thing in my life, is this another light bulb moment? (Really, soon I will have had so many 'lightbulb moments' I will be internally lit up like Time Square on New Years Eve!)
Whatever it is, this process of focusing on gratitude is a positive step in my life, it is making me slow a little, even if only for a moment, and smell the roses (or smell the gratitude??) and keeping a positive light shining even on my darkest days and while it is absolutely ok for me to have a bad day, I am now grateful for that too as how can we appreciate the light if we haven't known the darkness?