Im Worth it and I Know it...

I'm not sure if everyone (or anyone but me) finds that as you go along this magical journey called life there are some growth lessons that come fairly easily and settle in comfortably somewhere under our wings and within our soul, and yet other growth lessons, even the ones that should (hmmm a word that I definitely need to let go of) be obvious because they are really so simple but seem to be the hardest to integrate and fully own and believe.
For me that lesson has been my self - worth.
More specifically learning the ways that I state my worth to the rest of the world as well as finding my own conclusions and my own understanding of exactly what self - worth means to me, how I achieve it, add to it and how I maintain it when my ego and others around me show me reflections of how much I have valued others over myself.
It is almost like self - worth and I have only JUST been formally introduced - up until fairly recently self - worth was like my distant cousin, the one that you kind of know about, may have met briefly once or twice but don't really feel that you are related or connected with. That was me and my self - worth, till now...
I can honestly say that the light bulbs of realisation that have been going off in my head lately (honestly so bright if they were outside of my head you could have seen them from space!! This means BIG realisations) is like having spent years walking through a dark corridor searching desperately for the light switch and then realising that it has been so close all along that all I had to do was reach out my hand trust that it was there and feel for it. A few very much "oh DER that's it!!" moments where I guess it's like learning a new skill - you feel really dumb at first like you will never get it and you practise so hard that it hurts and you want to cry and give up so you decide to just leave it alone for a while, take a step back, and when you try again magically it all makes sense and seems so easy you wonder what all the fuss was about - BINGO! Me and my self - worth!!
To anyone who might ask exactly what lead to this epiphany, I can't really say that it was just one thing and I guess that was part of the light bulb moment, for me it is EVERYTHING. My self - worth is about ME living MY authentic life and doing that by looking at all aspects of my life, trying my hardest, doing my best and giving myself permission to take credit in my life where it is due as well as (and this has been a tough one for me) looking at the people I spend time with, how I feel about them, how I feel about ME when I am with them and how I feel after we have spent time together - do I feel inspired, happy, excited, peaceful, balanced etc or do I feel flat, drained, worried, ugly, stupid or worst of all not good enough.
These questions are really a guideline to all aspects of my life - my job, my friends,my relationships with others,how I am and where I am going in the world, all of it, the whole kit and caboodle. I have realised that I no longer need to spend time with people or in places that I feel undermined, unhappy,or unworthy and that it is MY choice to change those things if I don't like it, that I am worth having what I see as the best for me right now.
I want my whole life to be like the feeling that I have right at this very moment. A life where I feel treasured and valued for all that I bring and all that I am but also a place that I can be challenged and questioned in a genuine and loving way so that I can continue to grow and change and reach for the next star in that endless night sky....