The True Power of Forgiveness

Forgiveness........What does sort of feelings does that word conjure in you? What beliefs do you hold around forgiveness? Do you see it as power or weakness?
In spiritual circles (at least the ones I travel in) forgiveness is a word that is well shared and talked about but I sometimes wonder how well it is 'walked'. I have come to realise, even though it was something I acknowledged and agreed with, that REAL forgiveness is REALLY about myself.
I have shared 'wisdom' on forgiveness many times with friends and clients alike. I have talked the talk of being forgiving to others, that we are all on our own sacred journey and on our own place on that path and that we need to understand that perception is reality so the way one person perceives an others actions or intent is through their own filter and may not necessarily be the way it was meant by the perpetrator of the action - haven't we all been guilty of confronting someone on a perceived misdeed only to find out we were totally wrong in what we thought was going on???
So back to forgiveness - I truly strive to live my life by my own 'spiritual compass' which for me means doing the best job I can to 'walk my talk' meaning if I am going to tout wisdom about letting go of judgements and letting others be where they are on the path etc then it is my responsibility to live my life by that code and take my own advice (SO much easier said than done!).
This week I felt the need to take a 'soul journey' and run a bath with candles and beautiful oils including a recently acquired 'Journey to the Soul' pack with bath salts and oils. My theory was I would simply lay back, relax, and run with whatever channelled its way through the universe to me. The very first thing that came to my mind was forgiveness. It was a very clear moment of realisation that although I can be quite flowing, free and forgiving of many in my life, some of those that are the closest to me are held under the sharpest scrutiny and the highest of expectations.
 I started my forgiveness process with the first incident that came to mind and out loud made the statement "I forgive you for not being able to be the person I want you to be". That may sound very conceited but for me, the anger and resentment that I was holding onto and holding against some very close people was about me wanting something from them that they just did not have to give. In the perfect 20/20 vision of hindsight I can see how utterly ridiculous that seems but in the murky water of day to day life I slipped into a pattern of trying to 'take' what I felt I needed from those closely around me whether they had it to give or not.
But getting back to forgiveness, more and more along the journey I realised that forgiveness set me free, it set me free from anger, resentment and bitterness but it also set me free from fear and a sense of lack that something was missing that I was trying to find in others but was really within myself all the time and forgiving others for not being able to be who I wanted them to be allowed me to see others as well as myself in a new, kinder and more peaceful light.
Forgiveness is not an easy path to choose, there are many injustices in the world that leave so many negative feelings within us but along this recent journey I have truly come to realise and understand that forgiveness in my life is actually not about any other person, it is about giving something back to myself..........